“Who the hell do you think you are?”
Imagine paying into an annuity for thirty-five years with an agreed upon payout of a monthly check at retirement. Now imagine an insurance/annuity company getting total strangers, from all over a state, on the next block to hundreds of miles away, to assess how much you should really be paid.
After all, you’re old. You don’t need much. You don’t need to buy expensive fresh vegetables when your belly would be just as full with a Big Mac. What do you want to do, live forever?
Your house should be paid for, and your kids should be able to buy you new Pay-For-Less shoes once a year, maybe at Christmas or your birthday. If your house isn’t paid for, it should have been. Since you just sit in front of your TV all day, why would you need shoes more often?
Blood pressure pills? Why waste the money? Do you want to drag out the suffering of strokes and heart attacks and diabetes and all that other stuff? Don’t you believe in the power of prayer?
The cost of living increases are not really significant. After all, you’ve had all those years of hoarding stuff to keep in your basement and garage. Use what you already have. Besides, COLAs are so 20th Century. Forget about it. You paid into the annuity, chump, suck it up!
“But please, all of you, this little replacement bulb cost me $8.55 with tax. How can I see to find my way into the washroom in the middle of the night as I make seven pee-pee trips?”
When you were younger you would pee out the nearest window in the middle of the night and sleep comfortably for twelve hours prior to a hangover. Now you expect us to approve of your insurance/annuity checks that you paid for? Learn to hold it better. Why should we in Illinois approve of a light bulb replacement or anything that old people think is nice to have?
Why should the insurance/annuity company have to pay you? Haven’t you read in the newspapers or seen on TV what everyone is saying about you greedy old farts? Yes, the newspapers and TV stations are owned by the same billionaire investors who own the insurance/annuity company, but so what? Are you some old fool who believes in some whacky conspiracy theory? Don’t all the politicians these same billionaires contribute to say you don’t deserve your own money as some weird form of delayed or deferred compensation?
Besides, a total stranger wrote a letter-to-the-editor in Buffalo Grove, Illinois that says you aren’t worth the scrapings under his fingernails. Hey, we are all entitled to our own opinions!
So just take whatever you’re given and be thankful the annuity isn’t taken away from you altogether. Thank God you live in America “with liberty and justice for all” instead of some God forsaken socialist country like Canada, the UK, France, Germany or Haiti.
“It’s a promise. It’s a deal. It’s a contract. It’s a covenant. It’s the law.”
– Mark Stefanik (See Fred Klonsky’s blog HERE.)
Of course, he is being logical and polite.
My personal response is, “Who the hell do you think you are? Go f#*k yourself.”
End of story.
(The preceding was a satirical allegory regarding the treatment of retired teachers in Illinois by the propagandized public, the puppet legislators and the rich-boys’ club, the Civic Committee. It’s a lousy allegory as allegories go, but so what? My personal response remains the same.)
(DeNiro agrees with me.)